Robert Jameson and the Seven Amulets
by t s wolff
Summary: This is my 13th story and I hope to update it a lot like I did the Sacred Stone! Helpful Robert Jameson and his dubious friend Maria Lee get accepted at Hogwarts, only to discover a secret that could destroy the entire school if found by the wrong hands!
1. The Conference of Wizarding Teachers

Robert Jameson

and the

Seven Amulets

_by T. S. Wolff_

This is a work of fan fiction. I do not own any of the Harry Potter Characters. I only own the characters here that are of my own creation (see Professor Carroway, Robert Jameson, etc.). Please enjoy!

1

IN WHICH _there is a Conference of Wizarding Teachers and our Hero is introduced_

The Conference of Wizarding Teachers began at noon on the dot. From across the world, teachers of all sizes, shapes and magical subjects piled into the Conference Room in the United States. There was tiny Professor Flitwick, who stood upon a pile of books so he was seen above his desk; Professor Carroway of Muggle Studies in the US who taught his students to play soccer, baseball and boxing, along with numerous things about electricity; Madame Maxime, who was so gigantic you could spot her a half-mile away; Karkaroff of Durmstrang in Russia, who made himself known by entering the room with a display of fire rushing behind him in spirals, which he ate once he was seated; and even Professor Binns, the old ghost who taught History of Magic in Britain even after death.

The Conference of Wizarding Teachers took place once every hundred years, each time at a different school and with different teachers (excepting, of course, Professor Binns...and there was that time when Nicholas Flamel took up a teaching job...).

The Headmasters stood at the front, Madame Maxime, Karkaroff, Professor Laron (Headmaster of the US school), Professor Lamaka of Jamaica, Princona from Australia, and McGonnagal, strict Headmistress of Hogwarts in Britain. They were going to make the opening speeches. The schedule for the day was this:

Laron's speech

McGonnagal's speech

Lamaka's speech

Princona's speech

Karkaroff's speech

Maxime's speech

and finally...

Chat room of teachers (Where all teachers and Headmasters mingled for five hours)

Laron's speech began the day. He cleared his throat and began to, well, speak.

"Today is the day, my friends. It has been many centuries since the United States has had the honor of hosting this famed Conference. And I haven't been alive for centuries, so this is my first time at one of these meetings, as I'm sure it is for nearly everybody else here. So, I must congratulate Professor Binns, who has been through nearly nine of these Conferences, and Lamaka, who is one of the few that live over a hundred years. She is now celebrating her one hundred and second birthday. Let's all do a round of Happy Birthday for Lamaka, shall we?" The teachers were happy to oblige, though by now they thought that Laron was a bit peculiar, to say the very least. "And now, let this meaningless mumbo-jumbo (no, not the song, my speech) cease. I'm handing it over to...PROFESSOR MCGONNAGAL!" There was an enormous round of applause from Professors Binns (History of Magic), Flitwick (Charms), Sprout (Herbology), Slughorn (Potions), Monn (Defense Against the Dark Arts), Hagrid (Care of Magical Creatures), Cantoni (Muggle Magic), Laura (Transfiguration), Trelawney (Divination), Monnto (Muggle Studies), Anthropox (Ancient Runes), Itini (Astronomy/Astrology) and Hooch (Flying), who all taught at Hogwarts.

"Well," began Professor McGonnagal, "Thank you for that round of applause. I shall let you other teachers in on a little secret: Six of the teachers this year at our school are new. I therefore forfeit my speech, and invite the new teachers to have speeches instead of mine, for mine was extraordinarily long."

The Headmasters glanced at each other in surprise. This had never happened before!

So, the schedule was changed to:

Laron's Speech

Cantoni's Speech

Laura's Speech

Monn's Speech

Monnto's Speech

Itini's Speech

Anthropox's Speech

(Lamaka had to leave early, assuming this would take a while and he would have to get back to his people, so his speech was canceled)

Princona's Speech

Karkaroff's Speech

Maxime's Speech

and Chat Room of Teachers.

Suddenly, all the lights turned dim. Cantoni was no longer in the crowd. "Apparating. Cheap trick," muttered Karkaroff

"I do not no how to Apparate," came a deep, booming voice with a peculiar accent. "The mind makes you not believe, the mind makes you think there is a magical explanation, but in truth I do not know any magic. This is, in fact, why I accepted the job at Hogwarts." There was a puff of multicolored smoke in the center of the room, and from it emerged Cantini. "Cantini the Amazing," he announced. "That is my name. I was hired by Hogwarts because I am a magician, but do not know real magic. I am here to teach Muggle Magic! They call it tricks. I call it illusions. Nobody can explain it. Except the perceptive eye."

There was a burst of applause.

"I came to Hogwarts," continued Cantini, conjuring in midair an umbrella which he turned into a bird, "on a deal. I teach...they teach. I teach Muggle Magic to the students...and the teachers teach real magic to me. I hope students shall enjoy my class. I hope YOU have enjoyed my speech." The bird flew away and halfway out the door became an umbrella once again, hitting someone on the head. Cantini was gone in a second puff of smoke.

Laura walked to the center of the room, transformed into a she-leopard, and promptly transformed back. "My name is Laura, and I shall be teaching Transfiguration at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I am an Animagi, the new head of Ravenclaw House and I support the Tornadoes. I am a big fan of Quidditch and love wizard chess. I have an amazing, fun curriculum planned, and I hope all Hogwarts students will enjoy it." Laura bowed and sat back down.

Monn walked up to the center of the room and pressed his hands together. "My name is Monn. But my talkative brother will tell you all there is to know about me, so I needn't say anything." He walked back to his seat.

Monnto jogged up happily and announced, "I'm Monnto, and I'm the brother of Monn, who's head of Slytherin and teaches Defense Against the Dark Arts. He's demanding and stern, but I like him because he's my brother. I'm gonna teach Muggle Studies, and I'm sure it'll be fun fun fun!" Monnto grinned as he leaped back into his seat.

Itini walked up, took out a telescope, looked out the window, gave a gasp and walked back.

Finally it was Anthropox's turn. He had a very intriguing speech, and I'm sure you would've liked it if he hadn't said it in an ancient foreign language. And I needn't tell you about the rest of the speeches, for they are not of great importance to the story. So, let us finally, as promised, enter the room of our hero for the first time in the series...

Deep inside a forest in Britain, there is a fountain. To the left of the fountain, there is a path. If you journey down the path, you find a crossroads. Turn to the right, and you will come across a house. Inside that house, there is a staircase, and up that staircase, there is a room. That room is the room of a hero, and that hero's diary is hidden under the WELCOME mat in front of the room. Let's take a peek inside, shall we?

The Diary of Robert Jameson

Day One

Today, I bought some shoes at Pet Mart. Here's how it happened:

My cat was coughing up hairballs, so Mom made the assumption that she was hungry. We were out of pet food, so we drove to Pet Mart, where we bought some cat food. I was having a boring time, wishing we could get something for me, and suddenly I saw an entire shelf of shoes. Man, I needed new shoes. So I convinced Mom to buy me some. But then I thought of something: That shelf didn't have shoes before! It had dog food! Well, maybe it was just an illusion...

**I'll try to update ASAP. Please review!**

** -T. S. Wolff**


	2. A Half Giant interrupts a Birthday

**The time has arrived for... chapter 2! Wow, that was fast...**

2

IN WHICH _our Hero's birthday is Interrupted by a Half Giant_

The teachers of Hogwarts gathered together for a meeting about who would tell which wizards that they were wizards. Letters were useless...nobody liked to check the mail if they were a child, and most parents wouldn't want their children to open such peculiar-looking letters. So it was custom that the teachers would go and tell the children that they were accepted to the school. This year, the Muggle Studies teacher, Monnto, had decided to have a third of the Muggle-Borns, but the rest of the arrangement was undecided.

"I'll take some o' them Muggle-Borns," volunteered Professor Hagrid. "It'll be fun!"

Laura took the rest of the Muggle-Borns, thinking she could get them to understand about magic, while the rest of the teachers were assigned to pure bloods and half bloods. Hagrid was assigned to a certain boy, though, that was much unlike the rest of them, a boy called Robert Jameson...

Quick! Close the diary of our hero! Somebody is coming. Someone with gnarled fangs and yellow eyes... oh, thank goodness, it's just a dog. But wait! Footsteps. Coming up the stairs... Slip the diary back underneath the WELCOME mat. Hide in the closet, where there is a peeping hole. You see the feet coming towards the closet, to pick out clothing...better Disapparate. You can't? Then break the window and jump! Hurry! Run back down the path. At the fountain, a person is able to see just about anything nearby. Look through the broken window. Look...

Robert Jameson took a deep breath in anticipation. Today was going to be his birthday! He couldn't wait for the party to begin. He'd invited Lanton, and Gorig, and, as always, his best friend Brenton. He had also invited a few girls, but only because his mom made him.

What to wear? He searched his closet for the perfect birthday outfit. Would it be the khaki? The hula skirt? Nah, too ridiculous, the both of them. Robert knew that his mom would want him to wear the tuxedo that he only ever wore to weddings and only because his mom made him, but it was uncomfortable an looked too formal for a birthday. Finally, he spotted his red-and-orange striped T-shirt and some sweatpants with stripes. That was his party outfit. He grabbed it and began to get dressed, and I'll save you the boring details because what's important is what happens when the party STARTS.

So, one hour later, after Robert had been sitting around doing nothing and occasionally glancing at the clock for some time, his friends started to arrive. First, Brenton, who carried a bulging package filled to the brim with what was shaped like hundreds of Icebreakers© Frost™, Robert's favorite candy. Then Maria Lee, Robert's crush, who carried a small envelope decorated with hearts. Brenton winked at Robert, making him feel quite uncomfortable. Next was Lanton, who came with Gorig. They were hauling a gigantic package that was just a bit smaller than the living room. "Place that outside, boys," stammered Robert. He wondered what could possibly be inside. Although it was his eleventh birthday, it was most likely a car. Lanton and Gorig did stuff like that.

Slowly but surely, the others arrived, and the party began.

It started out great.

There was pin the tail on the warthog (who did donkeys anymore?), popsicles instead of cake, and some fantastic presents. The envelope from Maria Lee had a CD inside of it, which was filled with all of Robert's favorite songs (I Wanna Hold Your Hand, Ob La Di Ob La Da, I Don't Feel Like Dancin', Fire With Fire, etc), and the huge figure was not a car, but the software for the Black Wii, something Robert had been wanting ever since his parents had gotten him the Black Wii without the software. How frustrating it had been when he set everything up only to find that they needed the software!

But then the giant came.

It was during the scavenger hunt around the house that Robert's dad had set up (His dad was a detective). Maria Lee, he and Brenton were in one team, Lanton and Gorig in another, and the third was made up of giggly girls Robert had only invited because they were friends of Maria Lee. And then, there was a knock on the door that nearly broke the door down. "Anybody home?" came a booming voice. "That would be good an' all, but if there isn't anyone, then I'll just be along back home." The kids screamed and ran for the back door. It was too late. The door was jammed.

The door did fall this time the knock came, and there, right in front of Robert and his party guests, was a giant.

He was colossal, about nine feet tall and more than half as wide. He ducked to get in, then, to everybody's shock, he embraced Robert in a big hug. "Happy birthday. Sorry I didn' come before the party."

**O' course, yeh know who 'e is. Please review an' all...**

** -Hagrid (O' course, it was T. S. who told me to do it an' all, but yeh know...)**


	3. Robert Discovers Something About Himself

**It appears that now we are at chapter 3. If you reviewed for chapters one and two, thank you very much. Please review for this chapter as well!**

3

IN WHICH _our hero discovers a startling thing about himself_

"What on earth are you doing?" demanded Robert. "And who are you?"

"But don't yeh know—oh yeah, I fergot, Muggle-born."

"What's a Muggle?" asked Lanton.

"Do yeh mind if we go to a private place?" whispered the Giant to Robert. "This is getting' kinda annoying."

"Mind? I have no idea who you are! If we go in a private place you'll murder me or something!" Robert was getting very mad at this man.

So was Maria Lee. She stomped her foot and started trying to push the giant out of the house. She kicked him in the stomach. "Oof!" said the Giant.

"Get out of Robert's house, right now!" Maria Lee demanded.

"Yeah!" shouted Brenton.

"Or else!" intoned Lanton and Gorig. They glared at the Giant.

The giggly girls had already fainted.

Robert's parents were taking a nap in the other room.

The Giant produced from his coat a flowered pink umbrella, which the giggly girls would've laughed their heads off about if they hadn't been unconscious at the time. He brandished the umbrella and pointed it at Lanton and Gorig threateningly. "Don't wanna make boss mad by doin' magic," muttered the Giant. "But it gotta be done." And with a brisk movement of his umbrella, to everyone's shock, Lanton and Gorig fell asleep instantly. Lanton and Gorig never fell asleep. Never.

"How did you do that?" demanded Brenton. The umbrella was now pointed at Brenton, and he, too, fell asleep, but he usually did that.

"Yeh'll be next if yeh don' be careful," the Giant warned Maria Lee. Then he inspected her more carefully. "No! Yeh're a witch!"

"How dare you insult me like that?" exclaimed Maria Lee in outrage.

"No, I didn' mean tha' kinda witch!" the Giant said indignantly. "I meant like the female version of a wizard! You're a wizard, by the way, Robert, yeh know?"

Robert had had enough. "Enough of this nonsense!" he declared. "Who are you and what are you doing here?"

"I'm 'Agrid, o course! I'm here to give you your invite!"

"Invite to what?" shouted Maria Lee. "I'm not interested in any How to Be a Madman lessons, thank you very much! Or any birthdays held at the insane asylum!"

"Wasn't plannin' on yeh not believin'," mused Hagrid. He gave them each a letter. Maria Lee and Robert stared at the notes. "Well?" demanded Hagrid. "Yeh gonna open 'em, or wha'?"

Quickly, not wanting to upset a Giant, Robert opened up the letter. In shock, he told Maria Lee to open hers too and asked her if she understood it.

Maria Lee reluctantly opened her letter. This is what both of them said:

HOGWARTS SCHOOL _of _WITCHCRAFT _and _WIZARDRY

_Headmistress: Minerva McGonnagal, Animagi of the Seven-Hundred-And-Seventy-Seventh Degree, Order of Merlin, Third Class, etc._

Dear Maria/Robert,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Term begins on September First. The train leaves at exactly Eleven O Clock on Platform Nine and Three Quarters in King's Cross Station. We await your owl no later than August 27th.

Sincerely,

Laura Borrenhoppen

Deputy Headmistress

Maria Lee was outraged. Robert was shocked. He was, at first, more than doubtful that it was for real, but there was a Giant sitting in his living room who had a pink umbrella that put people to sleep. This being true, he was ready to believe anything.

Maria Lee was much more reluctant. "It's all rubbish!" she declared. "Animagi? There's no such thing! And 777th degree? There are only 12 degrees, I read about it in a book somewhere! Order of Merlin? Impossible. Merlin doesn't exist! Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Even the name sounds fake! It's all a hoax! It's a lie! It's a trick! There is no Platform Nine And Three Quarters at King's Cross Station. And, furthermore..."

"If there's no such thing," said Hagrid, frustrated, "Then how do yeh explain _this?_" Hagrid pointed his umbrella at the lamp and it exploded.

"That lamp cost my mother 700 bucks!" said Robert in outrage. He wasn't surprised that it had exploded. Nothing surprised him now that a Giant was in his living room.

Maria Lee scoffed. "Cheap trick! You pulled on some sort of cord that was connected to the lamp, causing it to break into pieces because it fell over!"

"How do you explain this then?" asked Hagrid. Suddenly, Maria Lee had a pig's snout.

"Explain what?" asked Maria Lee. Robert stood in shock, staring at Maria Lee's nose. Maria Lee looked in a mirror and gasped. "How-what-who-I just had my nose polished yesterday!"

"You polish your NOSE?" asked Robert, amazed.

Maria Lee blushed. "Okay. So, if we assume that magic is real, then what's gonna stop us from telling the whole world?"

"Nothin'," laughed Hagrid. "But is anybody gonna believe yeh? Yeh need proof."

"Good point," admitted Maria Lee. "Can I have a look at the supply list on the back of your invitation, Robert?" Robert gave it to her. She looked it over. "Magic wands... school robes... owls... rats... toads... flying broomsticks... Where are we gonna find all this? Fairy Land?"

"London, o course!" replied Hagrid as he rushed them out the door...

**This is a very confusing statement for those of you that have not read Harry Potter and perfectly normal for those of you that have...but then again, if you haven't read Harry Potter, why are you reading this first? Please review!**


	4. Our hero breaks into a bank

**Chapter 4 has arrived! I thank those of you that have already reviewed and I shall try to follow your advice!**

4

IN WHICH _our heroes break into a bank._

Once Hagrid the Giant had removed the pig's snout from Maria Lee's face, they set off to London.

"You must be joking," scoffed Maria Lee. "We CAN'T find all this in London! It's impossible!"

"Nothin's impossible," replied Hagrid. "S'long's yeh got magic." Hagrid looked worriedly at his pink, flowered umbrella.

"And what's up with that umbrella of yours?" Maria Lee demanded suspiciously. "It seems to work like a wand."

Hagrid's face wouldn't have been redder if it was a tomato.

Robert pondered on this. Maybe Hagrid wasn't allowed to do magic, so he did something that channeled all his wand power into his umbrella and was then practicing magic in secret. But why would that be? Hagrid seemed like a pretty nice guy.

"Here we are!" announced Hagrid. "Colt Avenue."

"I don't see any wands..." said Maria Lee impatiently.

"Wait fer it, wait fer it..."

Suddenly, a shop appeared out of nowhere, right in front of the trio. A sign next to it announced that it was called The Leaky Cauldron. "Ah, 'ere we are!" laughed Hagrid.

"This is a pub, not a wand shop," noted Robert. "Are you positive this is the right place?"

"I knew it! You were bluffing!" laughed Maria Lee. "There's no such thing as magic!"

"Do yeh wan' that swine nose again?" threatened Hagrid in a low voice. He brandished his umbrella threateningly.

Maria Lee quickly turned quiet. Even she had SOME sense. Besides, she HAD given Robert one awesome birthday gift, so she was all right...plus, those blue eyes of hers shimmered like the sea and blended perfectly with her jacket, and those lovely fingernails...

"In 'ere, kids," instructed Hagrid, cutting off Robert's train of thought. The three of them stepped inside the Leaky Cauldron.

It was your typical bar, with those wheely chairs that are also sometimes at diners. Robert sat in one and started spinning around. Hey, even eleven-year-olds can act like children every once in a while! He looked around while spinning and noticed that there were plenty of people everywhere, dressed in strange clothing. The barman looked old and crippled, and had a strange toothless grin like everything was going to be fine, even though death could creep up to his door at any moment. Robert wondered if that was the correct idiom, but then shook off the thought. The last thing he wanted to think about right now was literary devices.

Hagrid grabbed Robert's arm and dragged him and Maria Lee to a wall in the back of the pub. He took out his umbrella and tapped five of the bricks. Ronald tried to memorize this, in case it was a code all wizards were expected to know. The top left brick, the one 2 down and 5 to the left...Suddenly, the wall vanished, revealing a whole different place than Colt Avenue.

The streets were filled with people dressed in the same strange clothes as the people in the pub were wearing, robes with colors on the sleeves. Some wore green, others red, and a few of them wore purple. Robert assumed purple robes were fancy and rare, for one in a hundred of the people wore them. And the shops! The alley was filled to the brim with strangely-named buildings like Ollivander's, Makers of Fine Wands, Flourish and Blotts Booksellers, The Great Owl Emporium...the possibilities were endless. Even Maria Lee was in awe, though she tried to hide it.

"What IS this place?" Robert asked Hagrid.

"Diagon Alley, " Hagrid replied almost instantly. "Best place to go for buyin' school supplies. Unless yeh're a Muggle, o' course." He chuckled at the thought of it. "Imagine! A Muggle walkin' down Diagon Alley!"

"You keep saying that word. What's this 'Muggie' thing all about?" persisted Robert.

"Muggle," corrected Hagrid. "Non-magic folk."

They walked along through the streets until they arrived at a place called Gringotts Wizarding Bank.

"Here's where yeh'll get yer money out of yer vault," announced Hagrid.

"But we don't have wizarding money!" protested Robert. "We're just kids! And I'm sure our parents don't, either!"

"Yer parents DO!" laughed Hagrid. "Not Maria Lee's though. They're Muggles."

"Wouldn't that mean I'm a Muggle?" asked Maria Lee. She then covered her mouth and pretended not to care. Obviously, she still didn't want to show that she believed Hagrid.

"Nah," laughed Hagrid. "Not at all. Plenty o' wizards have Muggle families!"

He opened the door to Gringotts and they walked inside. Robert gasped. The place was run by goblins—literally. Tiny little beasts with green skin, wearing wide-rimmed glasses and sitting at desks, filling out forms. He could tell they were goblins because lamps seemed to go crazy around them, flickering on and off repeatedly. If that wasn't the case, then he'd think they were imps or aliens. Studious imps or aliens, of course, but nonetheless...

He tore his eyes away from them to see that there was a mine shaft right next to them. Maybe it led to the vaults! He patted the mine cart to see how sturdy it was. He sometimes threw up going on roller coaster rides, so he was a bit nervous. Maria Lee tried patting it too. Hagrid was busy talking to one of the goblins. Suddenly, the mine cart jerked back, toppling Robert and Maria Lee into it and sending them down into the mines!

Unfortunately for Robert, it was just like a roller coaster ride.

Twists and turns, ups and downs, even a few loop-de-loops! The only difference was that there weren't seat belts, so they had to hold on tight as if their lives depended on it.

Their lives did depend on it.

Finally, it came to a stop. But then a thought came to Robert. They wouldn't be able to go anywhere! They couldn't walk up loop-de-loops, and they were utterly lost! "HAGRID!" Maria Lee screeched. "I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS!" As if it was Hagrid's fault, Robert thought bitterly. The fault was his.

To make matters worse, a huge, dark shadow suddenly loomed over them. Something had heard the echo. And it was coming to get them...

**This, I think was one of my more suspenseful chapters! I hope I explained things in detail. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE review! Thank you, anonymous Robert Jameson, my only reviewer so far...without you, I'm not sure if I'd want to continue the story!**


End file.
